Fatherhood

Its been one year since I last attempted to write something and I just realized this !

Its Diwali time again and like in my previous post a year back, Anubha is at her parents again but this time its not a reunion with family for Diwali but to give birth to our first child in March !

I have not been married too long but the impact of tying the knot has definitely impacted my life big time in a good way of course :-) Its almost as if my stars could not play much of a role in my first 26 years since my free will did not do anything out of the ordinary for the stars to have any role until I did the unexpected and got married ! Writing this is making me laugh. The starts have really begun kicking in now.

But seriously I don't know what life feels like if its perfect but this is pretty close to it I think.

I don't feel like I have matured but objectively observing myself as a soul looking into myself from above I feel like I act now to keep everyone happy as much as possible which is important. Take for example my spontaneous plan to visit the Valley of Flowers of Maharashtra in Satara district last weekend which is nature's celebration of allowing 156 species of wild flowers to bloom in all its bounty in a 3 km stretch lasting only a month. Over the years I have been berated on several occasions for not informing my parents about my whereabouts if I am out of town or not in possession of my cell phone. Their imagination of me in trouble runs wild e.g. Sonai has fallen into a ditch and cannot answer his cell phone. With Anubha its gets even more dramatic. I have Friday meetings with my Director during which I silence my phone. One day I forgot to activate sound and within one hour the company security and my office colleagues were all over looking for me. Good thing she did not have my Director's number otherwise he too would be on 'official' search and find duty :-)
Finally when I got home with my phone still silent I found Anubha sobbing with a N-95 Swine flu mask roaming around Eden Garden to see if I was visible from the main road ! Her premonition was that I had probably got swine flu symptoms and was in hospital and hiding it from her. So the long and short of my Valley of Flowers trip is that I did not go because I felt the trepidation in their voices on hearing of my next adventure . I was plannng a solo trip which did not help. My mom asked with much bemusement 'Why don't you call over a friend and order a Pizza or something ? . That day I stayed home and cooked tomato fish Bengali style.

So the most important test of my life is coming up. Being a father. I pretty much wan't to be able to do what my father did for me. Instill life long values early that stick, which include all that I have learnt from my dad on proper eating habits and exercise, provide a good education both within the home and outside, feed him/her (based on symptoms it seems like a boy) what I have understood about our universe thus far and about us which is that we are souls in a body and not the other way around so that he too has the urge in him to dig deeper someday and not be oblivious completely to our spritual aspect. Essentially I need to be the best example that I could be.

Based on what I have read and understood thus far about life from various sources the latest being the Vedas, a lot of effort goes into a soul's search of finding parents that suit the soul's desire to learn certain lessons out of life which is why the soul incarnates. All this is subconcious mind you. You need to contact your soul within to understand your life's original plan.The soul is not afraid to incarnate. Based on our karmic vibrations and the soul's , the contract has been signed for next March for junior Banerjee to enter the world ! Sometimes knowing too much can be a bit intimidating !

I do not think any new parent is ever aware of how it must feel to hold you first child for the first time . It's just got to be experienced. I do not feel anything at the moment since its too big a event in my life. Anything too big or small does not occupy much of our consciousness.

Everything is by the Almighty's mercy .

Next March there will we that extra sunshine shining on the Banerjee and Bhattacharaya families . I hope I can do my bit for this soul to shine in his life.

Happy Diwali !